You're Not Broken
Underneath so many of our struggles is the thought that we're not good enough, that we're somehow defective, that we're broken. And looking at our messy lives and relationships, it's easy to believe. But it's not true.
Yes, you've got problems. Yes, you have issues. But YOU are not broken. Your emotional system is.
It's No Surprise
Imagine a shelter built by a child. Should we be surprised if it leaks when a storm comes? Of course not. And to fix it, we simply need to find and patch the leaks, and we need to tear down and reconstruct any parts that are weak, so that eventually the shelter can withstand any storm.
In the same way, most people are running an emotional system they built haphazardly during childhood in reaction to their parents, siblings, friends, teachers and so forth.
So should we be surprised when that emotional system breaks under the pressures of adult responsibilities and relationships? Of course not. And to fix it, we simply need to proactively examine it, find out what works and what doesn't and why, and then be intentional about making changes.
The Power of Hope
If you thought your brand-new laptop computer was ruined, but then you found out it only needed a software update, imagine your relief! What was once a hopeless situation would suddenly become quite hopeful, and that hope would spur you on to make the necessary changes to fix your laptop.
In the same way, when a person realizes that THEY are not broken, but that they are simply running a broken emotional system they built unintentionally as they grew up – a system which can be fixed or replaced – what an amazing burst of hope they feel. And that hope is what fuels their healing and recovery.
I've spent my entire career studying people's emotional systems. I've learned how to help someone listen to their own dialog and figure out what’s wrong in terms of their thought process, and what’s blocking them from going forward.
So I can tell you there is hope, it is real, and it is powerful.
True Health Benefits
Running a healthy internal emotional system can have a huge impact on external systems like your job or relationships. If you know yourself and can run a good emotional system, that can help you be successful everywhere: with people, when you're alone, in conflict, in bad situations, in good times, everywhere.
A healthy emotional system has a positive impact on almost everything, so why limp along through life with a broken emotional system that doesn’t work well for you or anybody around you?
What Therapy is Like
In the Mark Twain classic "Huckleberry Finn", Huck famously talks his friends into paying him for the privilege of painting a fence, a chore that was of course assigned to him. Therapy is a lot like that. I will be the one 'getting paid', but you will have to do the work!
To use our shelter illustration, you can think of me as a master carpenter whom you've hired to review your shelter, as a construction expert to help you both identify problems and suggest fixes for them. But you must do any demolition, you must cut the boards, and you must pound the nails.
I can't be there every time you have a fight with your spouse, or when your boss yells at you. You must do the work before, during, and after such storms. I can only show you how.
Ready to Get to Work?
Some people want me to be the hero, to swoop in and make changes and fix their lives for them. And sadly, it's easy for some therapists to fall into that trap, the trap of 'rescuing', of trying to be the hero. Instead, my goal is to help you do the work so you can take your rightful place as the hero of your own story.
So if you're ready to get to work – if you've had enough and you're ready to grow and change – please contact me today by email or by calling me at 210-341-3525 for your free initial phone consultation.
For the sake of your life and relationships, let's work together to get that broken emotional system fixed.